The propensity toward self-centeredness is natural and it’s strong. Learning to undo that part of our human nature takes time and a lot of effort.
Author and marketing guru Sam McRoberts garnered a lot of attention on Twitter Monday afternoon, when, in response to a tweet from writer Julia Galef, who was curious about parental “satisfaction,” he described having one child as “probably my biggest life regret.”
Study I would run if I had time:
1. Recruit 10,000 ppl unsure if they want kids
2. Ask them questions (Do you enjoy kids? Do you enjoy your life? Main pros/cons?)
3. Follow up 20 yrs later & ask: Did you have kids or not? Glad?
4. Look for predictors of satisfaction w/each choice— Julia Galef (@juliagalef) March 11, 2019
“My wife and I originally wanted 3 kids,” he wrote. “Had 1, decided after a few years that 1 was plenty. Though I love my son, I now: A. Know myself well enough, and B. know the challenges of parenting well enough to say that having a kid is probably my biggest life regret.”
McRoberts noted his wife agrees with him:
Not long after McRoberts posted his since-deleted tweet, Blaze Media engagement director Jason Howerton started the campaign #NotAMistake.
After posting a picture of his own young son, Howerton encouraged parents to tweet “photos of the kids you also don’t regret having.”
https://twitter.com/jason_howerton/status/1105304809643622400
Here’s a sampling of the responses he received:
https://twitter.com/jason_howerton/status/1105308948830347266
Congratulations on your sobriety and your beautiful family.
— nope. (@Deannemh) March 12, 2019
Beautiful.
— nope. (@Deannemh) March 12, 2019
https://twitter.com/jason_howerton/status/1105307846953103361
This child constantly disrupts my workflow and requires constant food/attention. I will take 10, please. #NotAMistake pic.twitter.com/suyTGaBYZx
— Carly Hoilman (Kashmanian) (@carlyhoilman) March 12, 2019
Look, I’m not a parent. The closest I come to parenting these days is having a one-year-old dog. But I know several parents, and none of them would say they regret having their children.
Being a father or a mother isn’t an easy task — it’s hard work that requires daily (even hourly) sacrifice. But the love parents have for their children should far surpass the burden of setting aside their own interests.
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From birth, we are sinful and self-centered. But as we grow older, the hope is that we each encounter love that chips away at our propensity toward self-service and that it’s replaced with self-sacrifice. For Christians, that shift should come as a result of realizing our own depravity and embracing what Jesus did for us on the cross.
I’m certain McRoberts and his wife love their son. I just hope one day their perspective on what that love costs changes a little bit.