At the start of the episode, Jada Pinkett Smith admitted she had a “porn addiction” of her own several years ago, before marrying fellow actor Will Smith. Moments later, she told her daughter Willow she was “profoundly disturbed” by the kind of pornography she was viewing at just 11 years old. As shocking as these admissions might be, they are par for the course in the internet age.
On Monday’s installment of “Red Table Talk,” Pinkett Smith, her mother Adrienne Banfield-Jones, and Willow invited Garrett Jonsson and his wife Arial Larsen to talk about their own experience with pornography.
Jonsson, who is now on staff at Fight the New Drug, a non-religious, non-legislative organization dedicated to helping people beat porn addictions, revealed he was fighting a compulsion to look at pornography all throughout his dating relationship with Larsen and even four years into their marriage.
“It’s easy to sneak around, because it’s on this rectangle in my pocket,” Jonsson said, referring to his smart phone. “It’s not a box of magazines.”
Larsen then explained what she went through when one late night several years ago, when her husband finally disclosed he had been secretly looking at pornography for years. In that moment, she said she experienced numbness, felt hurt, and then turned to denial.
Looking back, Larsen said, she can see the impact porn had on their marriage. Several times a year, they would get into arguments when Jonsson wanted to have sex, but for any number of reasons, Larsen declined. Porn had taught Jonsson sex should be instantly available whenever he wanted it.
Though Jonsson admitted it was “embarrassing” to talk about, he said it’s important to acknowledge the issue of pornography and address it.
When Pinkett Smith asked Larsen what made her stick with Jonsson, she said, “I fight for my family.”
“Garrett’s a really good man and I love him,” she said. “I didn’t want to leave him. But I was sick of the issues, so I needed him to come to an understanding of if I say, ‘No,’ it doesn’t mean anything against you.”
The “aha” moment for Jonsson, he revealed, was when he learned “porn is always there,” adding, “The major difference is instant gratification and differed gratification.”
Jonsson has gone without pornography now for three years. Larsen has never seen pornography.
If you or someone you know is struggling with sexual sin, Faithwire has a seven-week, video-based series — Set Free — designed to give participants the spiritual and practical tools necessary to beat an addiction to pornography. If you’re interested in enrolling, click here.