A father should be tired but never weary.
That is, according to Jerrad Lopes, creator of the Dad Tired blog and podcast and author of the new book, “Dad Tired and Loving It.”
A number of years ago, after he and his wife found themselves trudging through a particularly rough patch in their relationship, Lopes recalled penning a lengthy Facebook post in which he admitted he hadn’t been the kind of husband or father he wanted to be. But he was eager to change.
After hearing from so many men impacted by his transparency, Lopes, a former pastor, soon launched the Dad Tired blog, a resource he told Faithwire is for fathers who have found themselves in similar places over the years.
“I just learned quickly there’s very, very few resources out there for young husbands and dads, and especially resources that aren’t just saying, ‘Hey, figure it out,’ or, ‘Pull yourself up by the bootstraps,’ or, ‘Man up.’ I think my generation is kind of over that language or approach and it’s just not helpful.”
Lopes’ latest book is simply a continuation of the message that has resonated so well with his blog readers.
Look to any erstwhile family sitcom — like “Leave it to Beaver” or “Father Knows Best” — and you’ll find husbands and fathers who return home from work to doting wives whose singular purpose when the clock strikes 6 o’clock is to wait hand and foot on their relaxed spouses. While that certainly personified the role of father and husband for a generation, Lopes has made the case, both in his blog and in his new book, that such roles miss the mark for a man truly fulfilling his role in the family.
A man’s job doesn’t end when he walks in the door of his home from a long day at work. In fact, that’s when the job really begins.
“If you’re doing what God has called you to do, you’re going to be exhausted,” Lopes said. “Your work is one thing — providing financially is one thing — but what would it look like for you to actually lay your life down for your wife and kids?”
Over the years, Lopes said he’s had to learn to understand that, at the end of each work day, a portion of his job as a husband and father is over, but when he walks through his front door, the “real serious stuff happens” in the home, where he has to be emotionally and physically available for his wife and children.
The Dad Tired writer is confident God will energize us spiritually even when we are exhausted physically.
“When we’re doing the things that God has called us to,” he said, “I’m just really convinced that, even though we’re physically exhausted, our souls are not growing weary.”
Lopes referenced Psalm 1, which says the person who lives out God’s commands “is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither — whatever they do prospers.”
But when we’re turning away from our God-ordained roles and running toward sin, we are left weary on every front, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. That’s the place Lopes found himself all those years ago.
“Sin is more exhausting to our souls,” Lopes said. “And when we’re searching for identity [in the wrong places], all of that is really exhausting. You can’t keep up.”
“But the dude that’s finding rest in Jesus,” he continued, “he may be physically exhausted — he’s sleeping really hard at night — but his soul isn’t weary.”
For more information about Lopes, his blog, or his new book, click here.