Feminist Jill Filipovic Says She Wants to Hear from More Women Who ‘Regret Having Children’

Editor

May 10, 2021

A prominent progressive feminist said over the Mother’s Day weekend she’d like to hear from more parents who “regret having children at all.”

Jill Filipovic tweeted Saturday she would “really love to read more essays and op-eds from women (and men, too) who regret having children as early as they did, regret having as many as they did, or regret having children at all.”

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“There’s not much about motherhood that remains publicly unexplored,” she added, “but that does.”

The activist’s tweet sparked immediate criticism from many on social media, which she called a “total meltdown.” Filipovic said the response she received “pretty well illustrates why virtually no one talks about” regretting having children.

https://twitter.com/JillFilipovic/status/1391123220682641412?s=20

Over the years, some parents — mothers and fathers — have voiced their regret about having kids.

Writer and entrepreneur Sam McRoberts said in 2019 that having a child “is probably my biggest life regret” and, in 2018, mothers anonymously discussed in a Reddit thread why they wished they hadn’t had children.

But in response to Filipovic, New York Post columnist Karol Markowicz argued the reason such articles aren’t more common is because most people who have children never live to regret it.

Yes? If the point is that people would be embarrassed or shunned for writing that, I’ve seen plenty of anon essays over the years on hard topics. I think kids do something to your brain that makes the near absolute majority not regret any of it.
— Karol Markowicz (@karol) May 8, 2021

Others chimed in, too.

“I would really love to read more essays and op-eds from women (and men, too) who put their kids first, happily and eagerly, and love every minutes,” replied Elinor Swanson. “I love being a parent so much. It is by far the most rewarding and fulfilling part of my life, other than being a wife.”

New York Times opinion writer Elizabeth Bruenig responded, “My dad was always pretty upfront about not having wanted me/not loving me (in exactly those words, even) and I honestly agree it’d be an interesting essay to read. I’ve thought of interviewing him on this (I’d call the piece ‘The Exit Interview’) but he doesn’t take my calls.”

Tarah Price, a writer for TheBlaze, told Filipovic there’s “no virtue in regretting a human life coming into existence,” adding, “This form of feminism seems more about self-hatred than about being a mother.”

“It’s interesting how the more conversations feminists have,” she continued, “the more miserable they become.”

There were some, though, who came to Filipovic’s defense.

One Twitter uses said choosing not to have children was the “best decision” she’s made. She went on to say she is a high school counselor with a degree in child development.

“[I] love my students, but know I like to be lazy and raising kids [is] hard work,” she wrote. “People need to know themselves better before they bring kids into the world.”

Writer Stefanie Iris Weiss argued more women need to acknowledge their regret over having children because kids “are traumatized by compulsory motherhood.”

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